I have mixed feelings about…
… the faith of my childhood and its teachings. I feel now as though I wasted a lot of years feeling inadequate, being fearful, trying to measure up, not getting it quite right, and attempting to figure out how to perform appropriately to please God. I realize that many people can be involved in this same faith tradition without any of these feelings, and that’s wonderful for them. It was not this way for me. Decades of trying or not trying and feeling like a failure at this.
I am at a very different place now, sort of on a journey, but trying to learn how to live IN faith, or how to just BE. I feel very outside of the box I grew up in, and my tribe is changing.
I am sad about how this may have impacted my children negatively when it comes to faith in a God who loves them. I hope they will view their own spirituality as important to develop as they grow older, and as something that gives depth and meaning to their lives.
2 thoughts on “#10thingstotellyou #5”
In response to this most recent post you shared on your blog-
You and Dan were always a breath of fresh air to me, and a blessing to my not so happy family, so although I sure can’t speak for your own children, you were so very grace-filled and unconditionally loving to me despite theological issues you may look back on grievously. Please be encouraged to know that God was so wisely at work and using you to benefit the lives of many. My memories of the old farm house in Orange with your family are some of my fondest. You were one of the helpers God placed along my very difficult to come path that I would later look back upon with deep gratitude toward HIM and great appreciation for you, both of which have served often as encouragements to me. Hello after so many years, and praise be to God for his marvelous grace!
Kelly (Louque) Banning
Thanks for your kind words, Kelly. I have many fond memories of you and your mom, too. What a surprise to hear from you! 🙂