I have mixed feelings about…
… the faith of my childhood and its teachings. I feel now as though I wasted a lot of years feeling inadequate, being fearful, trying to measure up, not getting it quite right, and attempting to figure out how to perform appropriately to please God. I realize that many people can be involved in this same faith tradition without any of these feelings, and that’s wonderful for them. It was not this way for me. Decades of trying or not trying and feeling like a failure at this.
I am at a very different place now, sort of on a journey, but trying to learn how to live IN faith, or how to just BE. I feel very outside of the box I grew up in, and my tribe is changing.
I am sad about how this may have impacted my children negatively when it comes to faith in a God who loves them. I hope they will view their own spirituality as important to develop as they grow older, and as something that gives depth and meaning to their lives.