Dear Younger Self

Dear 18 year old self –

You often wonder why no one truly seems to want to date you. You are shy. You wish you didn’t blush. (That won’t go away – sorry.) You think you are too fat. (You are not – that will come later.)

You will marry that guy that you’re dating for “practice”. Saying yes to his request about “going out” will change your life’s direction entirely. It will be one of your most important “yes’s”. People will wonder why you’re dating him. You see qualities of gentleness and kindness and he will love you and be your best friend. Good call.

You think you may not want to have any children or just one. You will actually quite enjoy them and end up having four – even if some were surprise blessings. When you’re done raising children, you’ll wonder why you didn’t have one or two more because they’ll be such awesome grownups.

You are floundering around with what direction to go regarding schooling. You’ll try college, end up in an x-ray tech program – wishing it was a nursing program instead. You will finish that 2 year program, and you’ll end up being an at home mom. That desire to become a nurse never leaves and it will happen after all –just a couple of decades later. You will end up in an awesome job with some awesome people.

You love to read but do not always choose wisely. You will mature in your taste – for the most part. Put down those Harlequin Romances. Read real stuff.

You were not too ambitious in schooling but you got by. You will end up being a great student as a “mature” person – which shows you that you DID have unused potential – just like those teachers said.

You enjoy writing, journaling. That will not stop.  Don’t throw away old journals ever again.  You can learn about yourself from them.

You were insensitive to your parents, oblivious to them – as are most people your age. You will appreciate what they did for you far more when you’re older.

You are very casual about anything spiritual and you will get more serious and keep on trying and will not have it together even when you’re in your 50s.

Wear a bra. Halter tops with strings are next to naked. What are you thinking?

If you would be more disciplined now, you’d actually know how to read music now and be a real pianist when you’re older.

You were wise to never smoke or do drugs. You don’t even drink. You were strong and that shows a bit of wisdom, even if there were a few other choices you’d like a “do-over” on.

That guy you’re going to marry will take you on adventures you’d never (ever) try without him – and you’ll even end up living in Virginia. And you will love his courage.

You will have daughters who will dress better than you do, who are smarter than you are, and who will become your best friends.  They will even think you know a few things and come to you for advice!  Your sons will learn how to be great husbands from that man you picked to be their father.

You will be 54 and still feel not-grown-up. You will have times when you still feel 18 even when the calendar says you are middle-aged.  You are still not one of the cool kids, but you will know that it’s even less important than you once thought.  Or did you ever think that?

(You will not remember things when you’re older – write them down now.)

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